Should we tell the truth?

Should we tell the truth?

(Warning – this may get a little philosophical)

Should we tell the truth?  At face value, it’s a question we all most likely would answer in the affirmative.  I believe most people would agree that they should tell the truth but at the same time admit that they don’t always tell the truth.  Some would even suggest there are certain “exceptions” for when we shouldn’t tell the truth – times when it’s “ok” to fib a little (Hope Hicks might be one of these people).  On the surface, truth seems pretty easy to understand, but when you dig deeper, things can get a little more confusing.

For the sake of argument (which I enjoy, by the way), we might ask, “well what is the truth exactly?”  Does it mean telling it like it is, or telling it like we see it, or telling it like we think it should be?  And to go further, you might ask if truth is the same thing or within the same arena as reality.  In other words, does what we see in reality amount to truth, or is truth something else altogether – something transcendent, something outside of humanity that gives it its authority.  Here, we’re not talking about the truth as something we can attest to in the real world but about the idea of truth – Truth with a capital T.

Plato’s theory of forms supposed a world of ideals to which everything in existence pointed toward to get its intended “-ness” – that quality which gave the thing its definition.  The form of a chair was the “ideal” chair which every chair resembles and from which every chair gets its “chairness.”  In Plato’s world, the form of truth is that thing which every truth resembles and aspires toward – that form from which every truth gets its “truth-ness” – that quality which defines it as truth.

To go one step further, you can consider truth by its opposition to falsehood – truth is that which is not false.  With this definition, however, we now get embroiled in the question of falsehood – what constitutes falsehood?  Is it that which is not the case, or that which is not as I see it, or that which is not as I think it should be.  Or is it that thing which is consistent with the “ideal” of falsehood in Plato’s terms.

When we enter this realm, as you can plainly see, we tread on shaky ground.  One of the fallouts of postmodernism is the collapse of the metanarratives that once guided us when it came to morality.  These “traditional” narratives gave meaning to a world of chaos and helped us to learn what it meant to live a life of virtue.

In ancient Greece, the citizens of Athens at the time of Plato understood what virtue meant because it was embedded within the narratives of Homer and Hesiod.  These stories told everyone what it meant to live a virtuous life and how to be a good citizen.  The narratives enabled the ideas of virtue to live “in the air,” so that every Athenian who grew up hearing the narratives understood what was virtuous.

In his book, After Virtue, Alasdair MacIntyre investigates morality in a period of time when virtue has disappeared from the landscape. Some would argue that this metanarrative collapse liberates those who have been oppressed due to being outside of the power structures to which those metanarratives gave credence and authority.  And there’s no doubt that societal systems define the world we live in – who holds power, who has value, and who doesn’t.

The Mystery of Language

The deconstruction of these systems opens up the possibility for those members of society who were once considered “fringe” to have equal value and equality is a good thing.  But the game is more complex than simply destroying or reconstructing the so-called societal structures which have oppressed certain groups of people.  For even using the word “fringe” in this context creates a dichotomy between those who are “in” and those who are “out.”  We discover that language itself can structure our thoughts, create worldviews, and ultimately establish value systems which polarize people and establish conditions where some are favored and others oppressed.

The power of language is such that it creates not just meaning, but cultures, systems, and civilizations.  As Isocrates famously noted, “We have come together and founded cities and made laws and invented arts; and, generally speaking, there is no institution devised by man which the power of speech has not helped us to establish.”  Humans have an incredible power in language – to define existence itself.  To create meaning.  To speak truth.  But language also provides nuance and ambiguity.  Things are not always as they seem when they come out of our mouths and when they do, we understand the words we hear based on a past history (our own and that of many others) littered with different events and people which have molded that meaning for us.

What does this have to do with truth?  We understand truth in the same way.  The word itself is pregnant with meaning that extends far back into the ancient past.  Language evolves.  Our use and understanding of words changes over time.

It is the same today.  We exist in a period of history where truth has been relegated (and I would add devalued) to the whims of individuals with no inclination of which truth, if any, holds authority.  The problem, is we all believe “our” truth to be “the” truth and are hesitant to accept any version outside our own.  We often don’t even see the other sides as equally valid.

What to do in this world of ambiguity.  There’s a difference between truth and opinion and many times, we confuse one for the other.  If you spend any amount of time on social media, you are bound to encounter countless “personal coaches” and spiritual guides telling you to “live your truth” or some other cliché iteration of that idea.

The virtue of “sharing your truth,” however, most often amounts to someone simply spouting off their opinion.  Sometimes that opinion is informed and has some solid thought behind it, but most often, it is simply an individual giving someone their side of the argument.

3 Guidelines for Truth-Telling

1. Be specific in your language – know the difference between truth and opinion especially when it concerns what you’re saying.  It’s easy to pick out when other people sharing their “truth” are giving their opinion, but it’s not so easy to see it in ourselves.  It’s also unfortunate that those two phrases have a similar meaning today – in our attempts to gain credibility, authority, and expertise, we have elevated our opinion by using the phrase “I’m sharing my truth.”  To use a trendy phrase, we “appropriate” the weight of truth to boost the weight of our opinion – it’s shameless and disgraceful.   So just be specific when you’re giving your opinion and don’t manipulate language to boost your ego.

2. Be honest (or at least don’t lie) – I honestly (pun intended) believe that dishonesty is an assault on our very being.  There’s a difference between being mistaken and being dishonest and the difference is this – we know when we’re being dishonest.  And when we are dishonest with others, we are always being dishonest with ourselves.  I believe something happens to us when we do this.  Every time, we move ourselves a little more to the dark side, if you will.  We take one step in the direction of inauthentic existence (as the existentialists might say).  We assault the integrity of our being.  We take a swipe at the universe but the scar remains on us.  Many times being honest requires courage, so be courageous and embrace the weight of authentic existence.  Take responsibility and be honest.

3. Don’t use the truth as a weapon.  This comes on the heels of number 2.  When we say we are going to be honest, we can sometimes use that as a justification to hurt people.  We are going to tell it like it is no matter the consequences.  Well, you can be honest and leave a trail of human destruction in your wake.  How do we deal with those “clever” questions which seek to position us one way or the other?  “Does this dress make me look fat?”  Sometimes a simple “I don’t answer questions like that” can enable you to be honest and maybe even open up a discussion on the ethics of your communication with that person.  Sometimes, you have to say the hard things and it’s not easy.  Be honest, but be charitable.  Speak the truth in love.

Conclusion

Should we tell the truth?  Should we endeavor to be honest in our dealings with other people?  All of our relationships with other people are based on trust – can we believe what they are telling us.  The most intimate relationships have truth at their very core – this is why infidelity hits so hard.  An affair forces us to ask of our relationship – no matter how long it lasted – if it was all a lie.

It’s hard to tell the truth.  It’s easy to lie.  The very fact of this should tell us there’s incredible value in the truth because nothing good ever comes easy.  Tell the truth.  Embrace the tension.  Do what’s hard.  Life will be better because you do.